Delivery 3.0

Alhamdulillah, I'm now a proud mother of  3! Such a wonderful blessings :)

My 3rd child was born on 8th August 2017 on 11.40am at Columbia Asia Cheras

Well, actually we are quite anxious for this one..

As much expected, the baby will come out at around 38weeks (like his brother and sister)...Patutnya ikut keluar awal lah jugak kan.... Mmg raser dah tak larat dah nak jalan and gie opis... so during my 36weeks++ dah banyak amek MC and stand by at home and we opted for normal delivery.

Tapi tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu..x nak jugak baby keluar... sampai end of 38 weeks pon still takder apa2 tanda...no bleeding, no contraction etc...sampai lah ke check-up days 39 weeks on Monday 7th August 2017. Doc check and Alhamdulillah semua okay. Air ketuban cukup and BP stabil. So doc send me at labour room for CTG nak check heat beat baby... memula tuh macam x active jer baby nie, dah kena kacau baru laaa byk gerak2 and active. Contraction is very very very mild. Time nie saspen juga, sbb at the same time ada mother nak bersalin jugak kat bilik sebelah... dengar lah apa diaorg cakap semua suruh pushhhhhh......

Alamak, terus rasa cuak tetiba kannnn 😖😖

Tengah check CTG baby..fefeeling masuk labour room 

After the nurses satisfied with baby's condition, she send me back to see dr norshida...

Doc tanya, so macam mana..? Kalau nak tunggu lagi boleh sampai 40wks + 7 days
Me like..what?? Nak tunggu lagi ker...??
Takper doc, kita operate jer lah besok lah alang 8/8....

Doc : Ok boleh..jap saya check schedule...Aaaa, ok lah saya pon free, bilik OT pon kosong. So ok lah esok pagi..dalam pukul 8am pergi admission yer...

Haaaaa...kan. Hamek ko.... so 8/8 it is.... but seriously the saspen satu macam biler serah diri nie.

That night, I try to sleep...tapi macam mata susah nak lelap...takut laa, risau laaaa pikir macam2. Earlier, i didn't told the kids....just bgtau esok uwan hantar gie school, ummi ada check up. Nanti petang ummi amek macam biasa... so lepas hantar the kids at the gate, kitaorg pon gerak ke hospital....

And they prepared me for admission and OT...Ya allah, time nie rasa time sangat laa slow...semua benda pon jadi saspen

Selfie dulu sebelum masuk OT

Around 10.30am they brought me down to OT. Time baring tuh mmg fikir macam2 laaa..kalo mati macam mana dan sebagainya...this time around dah request Mr.McSteamy untuk masuk jugak OT..so dier pon siap2 jugak...

Then menunggu lagi...mmg saspen btol lah biler raser serah diri nie... tp tak ingat berapa lama tunggu kat luar tuh before they tolak me masuk dalam OT room....

Bilik sejuk and nampak lampu putih jer and terang benderang.... rasa saspen sgt..!! Both doctor dah sampai to OT room. So memula dier cucuk epidural lah... (nie last time i mmg tak ingat langsung ada cucuk ke tak kat belakang tuh). Dengan separuh telanjang tuh, doc suruh bangun and peluk bantal ke depan..... mcm tak raser sakit sgt cucuk tuh. Tau2 jer mcm boleh raser kaki dah start kebas2

Mr.McSteamy tunggu kat atas kepala jer.... doc pon dah start godek2. Dalam hati selawat jer lah...once in a while doc tanya okay ker tak. Tapi mcm boleh raser kot, biler baby dah nak keluar tuh,,sebab terasa doc tekan2 kuat sket kat situ...

Bila Doc Norshida sebut Allahuakhbar....baby pon dah ditarik keluar...Alhamdulillah. Automatic air mata keluar... And the rest of it is history

Syukur, everything went well....

Introducing my 3rd best edition - Imaad Mikael bin Mohd Razali, weight 2.99

Surprise...!! The proud brother and sister

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An Over Whelming 2013

Yerrr, mmg sgt, sgt, sgt overwhelmed. This post is supposed to be publish earlier on....but as I've said, sooooooooooooooo overwhelm sampai dah overdue.. hahahahaa

As i'm just learning to adjust my life with my co- star - Baby Luna and plus still berpantang, Abang Fayyadh pulak baru nak masuk skolah.... phewwwww mmg agak kronik.

Baby Luna 1st day at home

But, Alhamdulillah my mom was there to help me through for the first 3 weeks.

I've missed Fayyadh's orientation and also his first day at school :(. Just merisik2 khabar from my mom and Mr. McSteamy...others I just can imagine how he's doing at school.

So glad Fayyadh is doing well during his 1st day. Actually he's pretty much excited to go to school.

Fayyadh during Standard 1 Orientation day

Owhh, Fayyadh also already turn 6....since Ummi still berpatang mmg tak celebrate sgt pon. That will be postponed later okay :)

Sleep...? Dah mmg x cukup.... Bayangkan baru lepas breastfeed Baby Luna around 4am....tidur kejap and then wake up at 6am untuk siap2kan Abang Fayyadh pulak. Mmg agak pening pas tuh...

That was before.....

But now slowly I'm okay with it but still struggling.

Both need attention, mmg sumtime gune khidmat 1 tgn. Satu tgh tepuk fayyadh to sleep, satu tgn breastfeed Baby Luna...hahhaaa

Buah hati pengarang jantung sayaaaaaaa :)

But above all, I cannot make it through without support and help from Mr. McSteamy. Half of the duty menjaga Baby Luna is taken care by him, since he is the walking and standing pillow.... hhahaahaa !  If I haven't said enough - thanks luv for your help, support and understanding. Sgt sgt menghargai....

Luv, luv, luv. Our new bundle of joy ...

Till then.... babai

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Great gift in small packages... :)

Alhamdulillah, I safely delivered a healthy baby girl.

Baby Luna - a few hours after being born.

Introducing our new co-star - Luna Humaira bt Mohd Razali - born 11th December 2012 at 1.26am at Sunway Medical Center. Weight 2.67kg

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Where the new journey begin ... :)

Ok2....sila jgn salah anggap. Tujuan saya menempelkan video ini adalah untuk ingatan diri sendiri. Sebab pembikin video nie....download dekat youtube bukan dekat FB. So satu kerja plak nak mencari link tuh kan...

So, aku tempel laaa disini.... supaya senang nak cari in future. Hehhehheeee. Sila jgn termuntah yer ( sbb bukan mode pengantin baru sgt pon! ) :P

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Uzair Fayyadh is 5!

Alhamdulillah....Harta pinjaman Allah menapak setahun lagi. Fayyadh is a big boy now.....and he has given me a joyous and wonderful 5 years journey of motherhood.

And script Fayyadh lately nie...? " Ummi, biler fayyadh nak ada adik nie..? Fayyadh boring takder geng kat umah "

Hahahhaaha....selalunye Ummi gelak jer sambil jeling2 kat uncle. Fayyadh ingat buat adik tuh macam maner....?

Macam tuh laaa. Nanti ada kat perut Ummi..... heheheheee

Fayyadh sgt, sgt, sgt petah bercakap. Kadang ader je benda2 yang membuatkan otak Ummi nie nak kena berpikir. Kadang lawak, kadang soklan2, kadang ayat penyata.....

And sgt independence. Nak2 dah tido sendiri nie..... and sebenarnya Ummi sgt kagum ngan Fayyadh. Umur 4 tahun sudah pandai tido sendiri...nak compare ngan diri Ummi sendiri....darjah 4 tido lagi kot ngan Uwan and atok... ahahahahaaaaaa :P

Even malam pun dah off diapers. Selalunya train dier pergi pee-pee before tido laa kan. Tapi kadang2 ader jugak yang dier sendiri sedar yang dier terkencing atas tilam. Selalunya akan dikesan, biler seluar tido malam sebelumnya tuh dah bertukar.

Ummi : Nie asal seluar dah lain nie...?
Fayyadh : Owhhh, seluar fayyadh basah. Fayyadh tukar laaa
Ummi : Fayyadh kencing atas tilam ker..?
Fayyadh : Aa'aahh. Sengih2
Ummi : Maner..? tak basah pon tilam...?
Fayyadh : Fayyadh dah lap dah....suar dah taruk kat dalam bakul.

Aaa kan. Dier sendiri dah tukar seluar and sendiri lap....hehehehehheee. Sgt jarang lah dier nak kejutkan Ummi kalo dier nak gie toilet tgh2 malam. And selalunya dier akan pergi sendiri...sebab nak menapak gie toilet lagi dekat dari nak pergi kejut Ummi dulu.

And selalunya bleh detect....biler dier pakai suar terbalik or suar depan belakang.... hehehheehe. Bab nak tgk seluar depan blakang tak reti lagi....selalu asal sarung jer seluar tuh...


Alhamdulillah.... I'm a proud mother!

Ingat lagi dulu maser 1st birthday.....gigi pon x tumbuh lagi, and fayyadh blom pandai berjalan. Compared to other kids yang sebaya. Risau jugak biler tgk anak2 org lain yg dah advance from Fayyadh.

But through out the years...... I learned that every people are unique. Tak perlulah nak compare2 ngan anak org lain. Anak org tuh dah pandai nie....anak org lain dah pandai tuh... Tak payah laaa nak buat stress diri sendiri...Insyaallah....the time will come kan. Tak payah laaa nak pressure kat anak. Kesian dier...

Seronok jugak biler Fayyadh dah besar nie. Ader geng untuk borak....Cakap laaa apa saja...kompem Fayyadh layan jer ...hahhhaaa

Sometimes I wonder, biler tetiba nampak Fayyadh termenung. Entah apa jugak laa yang dier pikir. And sometimes jugak aku nak tau...aper laaa yang geli hati sgt dier tgk kartun tuh sampai ketawa terkekek2....

Iyer....mmg Fayyadh dah besar. Fayyadh dah big boy. And I'm blessed that I'm there by his side.....Barakallah

Fayyadh 5th birthday... And we had a small celebration. Hehehheee, kena buli ngan Ummi and Uncle... :P

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First impression....does it count...??

My conversation with a stranger ...

S : Is that your wedding ring ??
M : Yes
S : Who choose the ring ??
M : My husband
S : Good choice. It's a beautiful ring. Something different.
M : Smiling... Yes. Thank you
S : Is your husband on a creative line..?
Y : Yes....

Pause for a moment .....

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Introducing...

Alhamdulillah - all goes well as planned. 24/7 marked a new milestone in my life....

Thank you Allah, for giving me another chance to love and be in love. And thank you for giving me this man. Introducing.... My Mr mc Steamy... :)

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Jeng, jeng, jeng..... :

Alhamdulillah... Saya sudah selamat menjadi tunangan orang 2 minggu lepas :)

***********************************

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The boy who don't want to celebrate his besday...

My new year baby turns 4 this year. We celebrated it a bit late...2 weeks later on 15th Jan at KFC Wangsa Maju..

Unfortunately, the besday boy is not so keen to celebrate his own birthday. Check out this video :

Sib baik, dier nak jugak tiup lilin tuh.. ahahahaa :P

For this time around, I ordered a cake from my dear friend Aida. You can check out more cakes at : Oven Heaven blog and Oven Heaven Facebook

And the cake is superbbb..!! And taste nice too :)

Some pic during Fayyadh 4th's birthday bash.

My baby boo turns 4..!

Tgk, hanna lagi excited. Besday boy tak nak dok atas kerusi langsung

Present from Chicky...!

Dah tak sabar nak bukak present

Aaaa..gado2 manja ngan Hanna gitu

My darling fayyadh, no matter how fast you grow, you'll always be my little baby... Lu, Lu, Lu..!!!!

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My birthday note ....

Yeaayyy..!! Happy Birthday Me...

I turn 31 today..... single and still NOT available...


.......................................

Well, don't feel sorry for me, cause I'm NOT..!!

And alhamdulillah, until today i'm still standing strong, and less complaining. Maybe I've used to this madness and stupidity.

The first year, is the most devastating...but i've passed that now. Not thinking much about that....and sedar2 dah 3 tahun..!!

Seriously, mmg lama...Often, we are thinking too much about the future, as if we'll live longer. Without noticing, we may not be here tomorrow. So, im taking each small steps day by day and living every second to the fullest cherish my life with my love ones.

In my prays, I asked from Allah to strengthen my spirit to face life trials and challenges.... and over the time I realized that I'm getting stronger and stronger..

Mmg laaa Tuhan takkan bagi kekuatan tuh,tetiba jer ko ader super power jadi kuat...haahhaa. In fact, god really works in a very mysterious way. God will put you in the most difficult situation, trail after trial, challenges after challenges........and that is how you're getting stronger

Everything happened for a reason...and for me it's a blessing of disguise

Being almost 3 years in this difficult situation, I realized who my real friends and family are.....and most of my time I can spend for Fayyadh.

Yess, UZAIR FAYYADH.... the reason for me to live my life to the fullest and to keep smiling and smiling.... and enjoy life.

So to-you-know-who : I more than happy, the only moment he can cherish about you is just the iphone and game. So feel free, to prolong this journey as long as you want. I’m not on the loosing side … Seriously, I have nothing to loose...!!

So today, on my birthday I'm humbly ask forgiveness from each and every one of you. Please forgive me for my mistake.

I believe being good or bad, let Allah be the ultimate judge. But, if kau ader sakitkan hati org, menzalimi org and buat salah ngan orang.....if orang tuh tak maafkan, sampai biler laaaa hidup kau takkan senang dan bahagia ....

And thanks for all your prays and supports. Really appreciate it...!



Again....happy birthday me...!! :))

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Picture of the month..!!

Biler anak teruna saya masuk dapur....

Actually, fayyadh sangat pantang kalau dengar aku menumbuk bawang kat dapur...mesti nak sibuk...nak tolong laaa katanyer kan...

Aku ckp...nak tolong boleh. Tapi kalo bawang masuk mata, jgn nangis yer...tanggung sendiri...

Enjoice the pics...!!

Tuh mata dah berair laaa tuh kan.....

Steady laaa fayyadh !! .... dah macam style makcik2 laaaa... :P

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i LOVE you....!!

" A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
- Washington Irving

" A mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails of falters, even though the heart is breaking "
- Helen Rice


" There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one"
- Jill Churchill


"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
- Agatha Christie



"Children and mothers never truly part, Bound in the beating of each other's heart"
- Charlotte Gray

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2010 : A new journey for Fayyadh

January 2010

1st January
- Fayyadh turns 3 years old

A small celebration at home...

4th January
- Enrolled Fayyadh to a kindergarden. And his all excited about going to school....Sgt excited okay...Waking up early in the morning is not a problem....Just bukak lampu, memekak sket nyanyi2 lalalalalaaaaa....bukak kan stokin dier.... tau tau.. " ehhh, fayyadh dah bangun..!! "

Me being so grateful that it's has not to be a scene every morning to wake him up ....tak laa seksa sgt nak kejut dier..And fayyadh pon happy, tak melalak, tak buat hal....so surely his excited and enjoys school.

After school, he will call me up...do all the reporting.. Fayyadh tak nangis, fayyadh tak naughty..fayyadh dah tukar baju skolah, nak makan..pastuh tido...and everytime dier call, kena make sure angkat....kalo tak dier membebel.." Fayyah call, naper ummi tak angkat, tak angkat, tak angkatttt...???" Bla, blaaa, blaaa...Adusss....

Fayyadh goes to school...

Progress at school...

By 1st week, he's singing ABC...kalo tanya aper blaja kat skolah??.... M,M,M ( L,M,N) pastuh... ?? PO, P, Q , R , S, T,U, V, BUBLE U, XS , Y ,Z... ( O, P, Q, R,S,T,U, V,W,X,Y,Z )...hhhahhaaaa...

Lagi, teacher ajar lagu aper ??.... QUEK, QUEK, QUEKK....entah lagu aper yg teacher ajar, tak pernah dengar..ihiihihiii

By 2nd week...he's already have his own territory. Send him to school...hantar sampai masuk dalam. Biler dier nak duduk kat kerusi....tetiba ader budak sajer jer nak duduk kat situ jugak..Fayyadh pon terus tolak laaah dier...And me saying, Fayyadh cari laaa kerusi lain, tak yah rebut kerusi tuh...And teacher ckp, No...fayyadh mmg duduk kat situ, mmg tempat dier kat situ....Owwwhhhh. Budak tuh kena cari tempat lain...hehehheeee

By 3rd week, he's singing..Are you sleeping, are you sleeping...siap dengan gaya2 skali...

All and all...everyday, there's a new thing that Fayyad's learned...balik umah jer ader lah dier bawak citer baru laaa, lagu baru laaaa....And most important thing, I know he's enjoying it...

And getting Fayyadh to sleep, is not that difficult anymore....cam ader remote control plak...Around 11pm, bagi jer susu...tau2 dah terlelap...Takpon, biler dah settle down nak tido, borak2, cakap2 ngan dier...tau2 dier dah zzzzzzzzz..... Sgt senang, tak mcm dulu...sampai kena paksa soh tido...

He has learned caused and effect....means dier dah paham, kalo dier tido lambat, esok pagi dier susah nak bgn....Kalo dah bangun lambat, sampai skolah lambat...nanti dier takleh nak main2 kat school playground....Hummm, he's a quick learner and me being so happy that my little Fayyadh can accept this new environment..

And everyday, before he goes to school...he'll make sure that I will put on his socks and shoes. And everytime he will no forget to kiss me , salam tangan ummi and give me a BIGGGG HUGGGGG....aaahhh, I'm been blessed.... :)


By end of the month..

We celebrated post party for Fayyadh...this year lambat sket...hehheheee..This time around, we do it at Burger King Mutiara Damansara and invited a clown to entertain the kids

To my surprised....I saw Fayyadh's progress..which he now can understand an instruction. Not sure whether he understand it or not....tapi nampak gaya macam paham jer clown tuh ckp aper, sambil mulut nganga2.... and join the other kids in the activity and do what other kids are doing...
For me that's an achievement....sbb before this dier slalu buat hal sendiri jer. Dier lagi suker nak memain jer dari join this kind of activities.....

And best thing...Fayyadh tak takut clown...like before. Maser wat 1st birthday kat Mc'D...dier jerit tgk mascot kaler kuning tuh ( can't remember the name ) and 2nd birthday wat kat A&W..dier pun takut jugak ngan mascot bear tuh...hihiiihiiii

Aper2 pon...Happy 3rd birthday my dearest Fayyadh, dun grow up so quickly laaa...
Ummi loves you so so muchh...muaaaahhhh!!

Fayyadh's 3rd birthday party...

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When your other half is gone…

She’s still young, 30 years old wifey….with 2 years old daughter

And she just lost her husband yesterday, aged 36. Al-fatihah....

I dunno what advise to give her….since none of us have experienced that...

When I received the SMS yesterday….I’m really shocked…terkejut kejap…macam tak nak percaya that my close friend is now a widow…Mmg aku terduduk sekejap, termenung dan berfikir. It’s unexpected..and so sudden..

First time in my life…..aku rasa mandi cam tak basah

Last time spoken to arwah is early November when we celebrate his daughter’s birthdayLast time I met him is last Tuesday….itupon from far while me and elly lepak kat Kopitiam cyberjaya

And yesterday he left us all at 5.30am….his wife Amiza, her daughter Sarra, his friends and family…

And today is his 36^th birthday. To harris izham, happy birthday….we will celebrate and cherish ur life here…..U have fun up there… :)

Ok, that’s the intro….

What I want to share is when you have lost you companionship. Half of you is gone…

You are missing a good friend, a partner in crime, a husband, a leader, a sleeping partner, your strength,…seesssshhhh, I can’t ever think of that….And I knew, it’s hard for her to go through this…

When nite comes, u’re sleeping alone…no one beside you for you to kiss and cuddle

And when the morning comes, there’s no one to greet you “ good morning, sayang “. And when you dressed up to office – no one to comment on you appearance - Sayang, how do I look…? Ok tak pakai baju nie..?

And during the day, there’s no one to SMS – Sayang, u dah makan..? Sayang, u kat ner…? Sayang, I will be back late, still in the meeting. Sayang, mtg nie boring laaa, Miss you..!

The hardest part..is when you have to sleep alone, staring to all his belongings – his shirt, toothbrush, try to find his smell on the pillow and blanket…

Ya Allah….seriously it’s toughhhh….

And what happened – when one night, you are not in the good terms with your partner. And because you are angry with him….you disregard to tell him how much you love him, he’s the best man ever and you are being thankful for having him in your life….and the next morning…he’s gone…!!!!

OMG…..you’ll be in regrets forever…!!!

So to all my friends out there….if you adore your partner, love and forgive your partner endlessly. If possible, kalo boleh…time nak tido tuh…we are in a good terms with our partner. Let him know how much you love him, how much you care for him, ask forgiveness from him.. cause sometime we take things for granted guessing that tomorrow we will make up, assuming that esok2 ilang lah merajuk tuh, ilang lah marah tuh….. No, please don’t….cause we will never know what will happened tomorrow….. and you dun want to live in regrets...

p/s : Dear Amiza, I know it's not easy for you. It will takes some time for you to pull through all this.You need to go through this slowly, day by day...one step at a time. If you need any help just let us know...Will be there for you, that's what good friend are for...

The feeling of missing him can never be replace......but through out the time the feeling will pass and you will move on. Be strong, be tough for lil' Sarra...We love you...!!

Harris is already free.....We just awaits for our time to be free........But in mean time, the dance floor is ours. What are you waiting for....Let's dance babe....!!!

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Fayyadh....the bz bee...

Sangat laaa susah nak amik gamba fayyadh pakai baju nie...Baju nie acu dier belikan, siap ader kepak kat belakang ngan sesungut kat kepala...

And fayyadh sangat tak suker pakai topi, sungkup kepala etc...aku raser mesti dier dah muak, sebab kecik2 dulu dah selalu sgt pakai topi sbb nak cover kepala dier lepas operation dulu.

Nak amik gamba punyer pasal...aku paksa gak dier pakai hood kat belakang...ahahaaa. Mmg kena buli jer fayyadh nie...ihihiihiiii. So nak lekakan dier, bagi laa dier main PDA ummi....

Enjoice the pics...!!

Tengah concentrate mengodek PDA..

Khuysuk..!!

Berusaha untuk membuka tin biskut..

Melopong...

Cubaan untuk membuka hood kepala ...

Muka fayyadh yang terpaksa dan pasrah jer... ahahahaaa

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What a funtastic nite...

Went to watch Alam Muzik - M. Nasir concert last nite....at Istana Budaya...

Wallaaaaa....it was fun, fun, fun, funtastic..!!

My seat just 4 rows from the stage....never before I was this close watching any concert or theater...So close...i think less than 5 meter from M. Nasir....seriously biler dah dekat tuh terus raser cam nak panjat stage peluk dier jerrrr...ahahahaaa

That was the last perfomance for 3 days concert... A few VIPs attend the last show including TM CEO - Dato Zam, and ex - TM CEO - Dato AWO. Datuk Siti pun ader jugak....

Watching live performance from M.Nasir, aku tau kenapa best...sebab biler dier nyanyi, macam kena rasuk lahh...biler tenaga muzik tuh dan bersatu ngan M.Nasir...boleh nampak aura tuh keluar kat tangan, kaki, rambut, telinga sumer lah....suara dier jangan cakap lah kan....mmg terasa2 sampai skang....

The seat was full house....and everybody was enjoying themselves that night. Just imagine...sumer orang sangat sporting bangun and menari....

For a new married loving couple who seated infront of me - sangat sporting menyanyi dan menari....an old couple beside me...yang mula2 agak serius dan malu...start usik mengusik, tersenyum ngan satu sama lain...and join kitaorg menari jugak...Brother2 yang muka2 ala serius, susah nak senyum....ala2 muka seniman yg selalu kiter tgk kat central market tuh...rambut panjang, berjanggut dan bermisai....pun join jugak menari dan nyanyi sesama...pakcik2 yang bermisai lebat pun....belasah jugak menari. Bagi makcik2 yang tgk pelik jer kat crowd yang menari2 tuh....last2 bangun menyanyi dan menari jugak....mamat yang duduk sensorang sebelah aku...sebab terpisah ngan member dier....pon tak malu aaa nak menari sensorang....aku raser mamat tuh Chinese, walaupun wording lagu tak berapa hafal...tapi selamba jer dier belasah...awek2 yang datang ngan kengkawan....sangat laaa happening, sporting nyanyi dan menari gak....seronok tgk semua orang happy and have fun

Everybody is so sporting to sing along and dance...Untuk M.Nasir suara kitaorg ke laut ke, ke longkang ker, ke awan ker...tak kisah dah dier...janji sumer orang have fun and sporting..

Pendek kater....i saw love everywhere and everybody is having fun. Sayang sesama manusia - isteri, suami, kengkawan, couple, anak, ayah, mak, boss, pekerja....sumer nyer bermesra2 an...sumer nyer bergembira dan bergelak ketawa.

As for me....I'm having fun too....dah lama tak raser seronok macam tuh....terus raser sayang sangat lah kat orang tuh...thanks dear

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Seindah senyuman....

Semalam fayyadh demam,
Kesian tengok...seharian melepek jer depan tv
Aman sekejap dunia..
Kalau tak, dia lah hero terhebat kat umah tuh

Tapi dalam demam2 tuh..
Fayyadh masih mampu tersenyum
Senyuman yang paling ikhlas dan paling jujur yang pernah aku lihat
Senyuman yang mampu menceriakan hidup aku,
Senyuman yang mampu memberikan aku kekuatan....

Fayyadh is like an angel...
Angel that bring serenity to my heart and mind
Angel that soothe my bitterness...
Angel that whisper to my ears.... " Be strong "


Dan aku tersedar bahawa aku akan merindukan dia....dan dia juga pasti akan merindukan aku....

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Penyerahan...

Aku hanya mampu pasrah. Melihat kehidupan yang dilalui berlalu dengan begitu sahaja..

Kosong...tanpa pengertian, tanpa pengisian. Sesungguhnya.....harapan dan impian itu sudah aku gantungkan jauh -jauh di suatu tempat. Membuatkan aku lupa apa yang aku harapkan, apa yang aku impikan. Dengan berharap, satu hari nanti akan ku ambil semula harapan dan impian yang telah ku tinggalkan itu untuk entah berapa lama

Apa yang aku harapkan...?
H****l lembut hati supaya dapat melepaskan aku dengan cara yang baik dan dapat memberi aku menjaga fayyadh.

Apa yang aku impikan...?
Bina hidup dengan orang yang tersayang

Perbualan terakhir dengan h****l, minggu lepas....mengaburkan lagi harapan itu. H****l masih lagi dengan keputusan dia. Untuk mendapatkan hak dia...

Apa lagi yang boleh aku buat...? Sesunguhnya aku tidak termampu untuk berbuat apa - apa sekarang...

Aku tak mengharapkan apa - apa pun sekarang. Aku hanya membiarkan hidup ini berlalu macam air hujan....mengalir dari jalan raya, masuk ke longkang, masuk loji....kemudian entah kemana - mana tah. Aku malas nak merancang apa - apa dah dalam hidup ini... Apa yang jadi untuk hari ini...adalah untuk hari ini...untuk hari esok, tak tahu lagi. Tidak perlu merancang, tidak perlu mengawal kehidupan. Terpulang lah....apa yang nak jadi....

Setiap apa yang dilakukan dan setiap keputusan yang dibuat, aku tidak meletakkan perasaan ku disitu. Perasaan itu sudah hilang entah dimana....sudah aku campakkan jauh - jauh...Buatlah apa - apa sahaja untuk menghabiskan sisa - sisa untuk hari ini.... dan sementara untuk menanti hari esok, dan esok dan esok. Dari hari ke sehari dan begitu lah seterusnya

Aku hanya mampu berdoa agar Tuhan beri yang terbaik untuk diriku......tapi apakah yang terbaik itu...?

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Lepak2 bersama fayyadh

Hehhehee...gamba nie dah amik lama dah.....sajer jer nak test2 compile..

Maser tuh fayyadh baru jer pandai meniarap.....tengah lepak2 atas katil, amik camera....agah2 dier....gelak pulak..tuh yg amik banyak2....
Nampak cam best pulak the screenshot.....hehhehee
Enjoice....

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A joy of being a mother...

The feeling is beyond words…the experience is priceless….!!

For the first two months, still can't believed that i'm holding my own baby...duk depan cermin, tgk diri sendiri sambil pegang baby ….. Ya Allah.. dah jadi mak orang rupernyer aku nie … cam tak caya jer.. ihiihihihhh

Ibu, Mama, Ma , Mak, Mummy, Ummi .. itulah panggilan istimewa yg diberi kepada seorang wanita yg dah melahirkan anak .... For me I choosed to be called "Ummi"

2 months confiment with Fayyadh flies so fast....Sekejap jer rasernyer. Raser cam semalam dier dok dlm perut lagi...iihihi. Everyday I learned a new things about Fayyadh

Having kids meaning bigger responsibilities. Bigger responsibilities meaning you need to work hard to support you child - To fullfill you child needs for better life, better living and better education. And every parents will strive very hard to give the best to your child, as they deserved the best..!!

Seronok tuh seronok jugak...tapi sometimes risau jugak... " Boleh ker aku didik fayyadh jadi anak yang baik.... Dapat ker aku bagi sume kemewahan kat dier... Boleh ker aku bagi pendidikan yang terbaik buat fayyadh" .... fuhh, mmg banyak soklan bermain di fikiran...Moga Tuhan bagi pentunjuk dah hidayah supaya aku dapat menjadi ibu yang baik yg dapat mendidik anakku menjadi orang yg berguna...AMIN

Yummy.... Sedapnyer pipi fayyadh nie..! Fayyadh at 39 days old

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